I had plans for today, Many plans. There was to be training (there was not), there was to be a good, healthy breakfast (check, did get that one), there was to be yarn dyeing (nope, not yet anyway), editing of a video (nope), social media handling (does scrolling the Instagram feed count?), filming another minis-sequence (nope), doing a blog post (happening right now), working on my book (scheduled an hour later today for that – it might still happen), rendering that video I haven’t edited (tough one, will definitely need to edit first), edit the minis sequence I haven’t filmed yet (also tricky), publishing that sewing video I couldn’t render because I didn’t edit it, and so on and so forth. I think it is safe to say that, current time being almost 4pm in the afternoon, today got away from me. Big time.
I do have a perfectly good excuse though. Yesterday, I was having these really big muscle tensions in my back, shoulders and neck. It didn’t hurt as much as it was just generally uncomfortable, so I just went on with my very busy day. Then night came, and it got really late and way past my bedtime, and I was really tired. It was the first day of school for the kids and we had to get up earlier than we have in weeks. So, I was quite tired and really ready for sleep, but I was also really feeling that tension in my body (in spite of having my youngest son massage me a bit earlier that night, he is a natural at that). And knowing me, I knew that this would probably lead to me waking up with a humongous head ache the next morning. So I decided I would postpone going to bed for another half hour, and instead have some casual, fun knitting time while listening to some meditation. I had a tip from my friend Anna about this woman on YouTube, Rasa, that had a whole bunch of really good meditation videos. And she had uploaded a new one just yesterday, that was just over half an hour long. ”Perfect!”, I thought, because even though mediations has never really been my thing, her videos actually do work and helps me relax. There is just something so soothing about her voice, that really helps me get my breathing in check, and to release tensions in my body. So I did that. And for sure, it helped.
So I went to bed, still tense, but not nearly as bad as I had felt prior to the meditation. I got comfortable and as relaxed as I could in bed, and I felt really good. I expected to have quite a good nights sleep. But it just didn’t happen. I just could not fall asleep, for some reason. At 2am my youngest son got up, and I asked him what he was doing. ’Going to the bathroom’ he replied, saying he didn’t feel quite well. So I went back to trying to sleep, while listening for his steps in the stairs. It took a while, but he eventually went back to bed, and a little while later fell asleep again. But I was still awake. I’m not sure exactly for how long, but I am guessing I finally dozed off somewhere between 3 and 4am. So when the alarm went off at 7am, I was basically a zombie, too tired to even imagining how I would muster the energy to get out of bed and take my kid to school. So when he said he didn’t feel well and wanted to stay home today, I had no objections. He had after all been up in the middle of the night feeling a bit out of sorts, and he does not usually wake up like that. So I called in sick for him (or at least I tried to, not sure if I called his school or possibly the nearby grocery store, I was so tired it could really have been either one) and went back to sleep (I am so grateful to have teenage kids now, that don’t require my attention like when they were younger).
Then I slept until about 10:15am, and woke up feeling even more tension in my muscles than I had yesterday. There was no way around it, I had to take a couple of painkillers and hope they would do the trick. So I made one of my famous breakfast trays, made some coffee, and just snuggled on the couch while chatting with my younger sister in Norway. And that’s basically the gist of my accomplishments today. Body is feeling a bit better though, but I do feel rather deprived of energy today. That could have a couple of different reasons, or be a mixture of those reasons, but the result is the same: I am pretty much having an unexpected day off today, because my body says that is what we need to do. And I have learned the hard way that when my body has objections, I should listen.
So, it is afternoon, I haven’t been productive at all really today, and I will pretty much continue on that track for the rest of the day, it would seem. What to do? Well, knitting is obvious, I will probably do a few more rounds of the Ixchel, a project that I have enjoyed quite a lot this far, even when I made mistakes that required tinking back a row or two here and there. I am also considering doing a bit of a spa-thing. You know, maybe have a long, nice bath while reading a good book (one of my favorite things in life, to read in the bath), and perhaps pull out some facial treatments afterwards. Do my nails even? Only downside to doing your nails though, is that I can’t knit until the nail polish is one hundred percent dry, and when you have a favorite knitting project you really want to get back to, that chunk of time tends to feel like two days and then some. 😉
All in all, this is one of the best things of being self-employed. I don’t have to ask permission to do this on any old Wednesday, and since I work so much and so intensely on any other given day, I do not feel bad that I sometimes need to have some unexpected me-time, because my body just desperately needs it. I can usually have that time when I actually need it, and not have to postpone it to the weekend or a later date. So even if self-employment means that I usually work from the time I get up until bedtime, 7 days a week, it is totally worth it to be in control of my own time.
Now, I think I’ll just go and draw myself a nice bath. Perhaps light a scented candle in there as well, come to think of it. Have some spa-time, do some more meditating tonight, knit something nice and fun, and make something really nice for dinner today.
Where ever you are, I hope you are well and happy and cared for, and that you are having a wonderful day. I will see you again soon, with more creative content than today, for sure.